"Falling in love with the stories in other people's heads"

The Awesome Girl’s Guide to Dating Extraordinary Men by Ernessa T. Carter

 

Have you ever read a novel? Like a for real for real novel? Gone with the Wind, Interview with a Vampire, or Little Women? These books are novels. These are the types of stories that take you through a journey of life and experience; not in a superficial way of temporary moments and challenges and hopes and heartbreak but true and honest life emotions and feelings. The types of books that make you pause and think about yourself, the lives of those around you, they make you bond with the characters in a way that you root for them, you mourn with them, and hope with them. These books take you on a journey to a new yet familiar place. That’s what these types of books do for the reader. That’s what this book did that for me.

This book serves as both a guide and a storybook, giving you tid bits about love while telling you a story at the same time. It starts off with three main characters: Thursday, Risa and Sharita. And a late addition to the group, Tammy. The first three went to college together (small liberal women’s college) and during their time their became best friends. Tammy came later on.

Thursday is the daughter of a famous rapper. Early in her adult life she has to deal with the passing of her mother. Fast forward to her adult life, she refuses to date black men (yes she’s black as well as all of the characters!)! She prefers white men only. And not only that, not the Brad Pitts or Chris Hemsley type, she like the nerdy kind! The skinny Jonah Hills! But anyways, she went to college with her two other BFFs and then went on to get a master degree in fine arts at NYU, along with a ton of loans! And now works in a sort of process office for packages (which has nothing to do with what she went to college for–typical). And she also moonlights as a standup comedian. Her goal was to become a writer for a TV show or some sort of film. But alas she is basically living paycheck to paycheck and hating a lot of her life.
Risa is a former rocker still living the rocker life hoping to become a rockstar again. She was in a rock band that did really well but like a lot of rock bands broke up at the height of their careers–after one album. During the time that she was a semi famous rocker she met a girl and fell love. But the love they didn’t last and it was all Reese’s fault. But like most people who are at fault of break ups with “perfect people” she realize that she let go of the one. And so her goal is to become famous again to have The One take her back because becoming famous will solve all her problems (said no one ever).

Sharita is the goody two shoes of the group. She’s an accountant, who is super financially savvy (obvi) and is doing all that she can to be that power couple with her black king. She’s looking for the Jay-Z and Beyonce kinda love (err is that even a good reference considering he cheater on her?! Ehh maybe not.), the Barack and Michelle kinda love (Yass better!) and that Jada and Will kinda love. So why is a successful, independent Black woman single? She makes poor choices in men. Like a lot of poor choices. She makes those mistakes that makes you sing Destiny’s Child “Girl” Girl, I can tell he’s been lying, And pretending that he’s faithful and he loves you. She just lacks intuition when it comes to men. Point blank.

So why was I moved by this book? Its a different take on a romance tale. It gives you that “Sista girl” advise you need, while also showing you how imperfect life is and how terrible things can go, and how awesome things can just be. Its one of those stories that grabs you with these different and dynamic characters with real life crap to deal with in way that makes you connect. I’ve never been in any of the situation that these characters have been in, but I felt like I could feel them. I could feel their frustrations, and mistakes and fear. It was one of those tales that you’re like, damn. And all the while it gives you this awesome dating advise that is legit! Its stuff that you’re like, yup, that makes sense. In a way it reaffirms who you are and pushes you to be better. Does that make sense? Ahh. Just read the book. Its definitely one that I don’t regret reading and enjoyed the whole time.

Click here to buy!

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